I'm scared of my tomato plant. Green Tomato Ketchup-Catsup. Whatever.

 Scared yes. Did you ever see the movie "The Ruins?" I'm going to wake up one morning and the damned thing is going to be eating my legs.
 I started two plants from seeds in January. Usually I don't have much luck here in Phoenix with tomato. Our spring goes from mild to radioactive within 30 days. Not this year.
 We've had a long- long cool, wet spring. The plants got beyond huge. They grew over their cages and now drape over all sides cascading with fruit.

 Disaster. About 2 weeks before Memorial Day we had a crazy rain and wind storm that blew over one of my cages and broke one plant off at the stem. I had all this unripe fruit of different sizes in danger of going to waste. Most unsuitable for fried green tomato simply because it was too small. What could I do to rescue them??? Good friggin' question. 

 Luckily I'm me and had some old cookbooks that provided answers. "Joy of Cooking" from 1960 and "Betty Crocker" from 1962. Back when cookbooks were written by and for  home-cooks not by stupid celebrities for rich folks' coffee tables. 

 The art of preserving is not dead. Heck, I found everything I needed in my neighborhood store. Bet you can too. Stupid easy. Just takes some time and effort. 

CHEF NICK'S ZESTY GREEN TOMATO KETCHUP (catsup) whatever. 

Mise en place: All about ratios. 

 I love my deep cast-iron pot. I know you love yours too. Do not do not use it for cooking the tomatoes. Why? It's composition will react to the acids we're playing with and create a bitter mass of yuck. Use a stainless steel, porcelain or enamel pot. 

I used about 5 pounds of green tomatoes so...

1 large red onion, cut into chunks

4 cloves garlic, peeled

3 jalapeno peppers de-stemmed,  including seeds. Entirely optional.

1 cup of Kosher salt

1 pound dark brown sugar

2 TB pickling spice* more about this later

a square of cheese-cloth

 White Vinegar and Cider Vinegar. I used half and half of each

4 jars. Ball Mason is a great brand. The lids have a fool-proof dimple that lets you know when it's sealed. 

Food processor 

1 big pot, big enough to hold jars and lids

1 large pot for cooking

Wire strainer. 

OK, put all your jars and lids in a big pot. Cover over 2 inches with water and put it over high heat. We need to sterilize them. Bring to boil, let it simmer, let it go for 30 minutes. Leave them in water until we're ready. 

 Slice your green tomatoes thick. 

See? like I said, all different sizes

 Put tomatoes, onion, garlic, salt and jalapeno peppers in a large pot. Add vinegar until just covered. Add pickling spice tied in cheese-cloth. Bring ALMOST to a boil (but don't boil them) then turn down your heat to LOW. Let this steep for 4 hours. 

  O WAIT. We need some words here. 

 *PICKLING SPICE. No, you don't have to make this from your own spice supply. It's available commercially. It usually includes allspice, bay leaves, cardamom, cloves, coriander, mustard seeds, dill seeds and peppercorns. Whole or crumbled. 

 Gather some (2TB) into a square of cheesecloth. Tie up into a sack. 

oo look it's my handy-pandy

 Look for a transparency in the tomatoes and onions.

 Once you've achieved that. Remove sack of picking spice. Pour out carefully any remaining liquid, reserve one cup just in case. 

 I love my food-processor. My Mom and Dad gave it to me for Christmas years ago, I use it almost every week. 

 Using the grinding blades. Work a ladle full at a time and grind your mess until smooth. you cannot fuck this up. If it seems too thick; it won't but just in case it does, add a little of your reserved liquid. 

  Remove to a large bowl. Here comes the bitch part. We need to strain this out to remove any skins and seeds. CHINOIS time. 

Place your wire strainer over your now-empty pot that you cooked everything in. By ladle full start straining your mess. Use a spatula and PRESS. 

start 

sorta done

what you removed

  OK, so the bitch part is really a bitch but now you've got a smooth product back in your pot right? RIGHT? 

 Put your pot back over medium heat and add the brown sugar. 

 Stir until sugar dissolves. 

Now it's time to jar up your mess. 

 Remove one jar at a time and ladle the ketchup (catsup) while hot. Screw on lid. 

Place jars with lid back into hot water (off heat) for 5 minutes. Remove and let sit somewhere outside of drafts until the dimple on top the lids is completely depressed. 

 You're done. 

 Seriously

The rose was from one of my neighbors. The note says "thanks for all the tomatoes"

Store it at room temperature or if you insist, in the fridge until needed. Use it just as you would regular commercial ketchup (catsup). I had it with my Birthday steak, butter-roasted mushrooms with tater-tots. That's right, I love tater-tots. The only processed food you're ever likely to see me eat. 

And O yes, it was my Birthday this week. 

Why yes, there IS a candle on my steak. 

 Now with love. Go get your grub on. CIAO.

here's some pics of the very coolest present I got. Thank you Maggie Mom. 

awww you think THAT'S COOL? wait for it....

To Nick with warmest wishes on your birthday. Maggie Mom rules. I love you. 

Whatsa matta you? How I survived the end of the world. Pollo Alla Cacciatora

                                                    

   I love coming from an Italian family. I love that cousins are loved as ferociously as siblings. I love that siblings are a part of our soul. I love that Dads are thought of as highly as the Pope and that Mothers are living Saints. I love that we can eat and drink together, laugh seemingly forever and never get tired.
  I love that with only 48 hours notice, I got to cook for my generation of the Atonna family.

  A coupl'a chickens, a tug of rosemary some mushrooms and a head of garlic. Lots of love.

 Here's the story. When I started cooking ( I was maybe 15) I found a recipe in my Mom's old Better Homes and Gardens for chicken cacciatore. I tried making it and was really unsatisfied with the results.
  Seriously, what the heck is this nonsense. Over-cooked chicken in a bland tomato sludge. NOT what I was hoping for. I tried it again and again. Nope, it all sucked.

  Here's why. THEY DUMBED IT DOWN.

  Years went by. I kept learning. I kept researching. REVELATION. I found an Italian cookbook written by (gasp) Italians.
   I understand that this was; according to legend, made by hunters out in the woods with what they found OR it was prepared by wives anticipating a poor hunt and using what was on hand. Whatever. I think it was a little of both. So here's what you'll need.

CHEF NICK'S SIGNATURE DISH: POLLO ALLA CACCIATORA

Mise en place. The Italians taught the French how to cook, yes we did.

1-2 whole chickens. Important notes on this later
A whole lot of extra virgin olive oil
1 head of garlic, separated into cloves, skin off
some sliced wild mushrooms, about a hand-full. Today all I could get was baby 'bellas but oyster, woodear all work great.
a good tug of fresh rosemary, separate leaves from twigs. 2 TB at least
red wine vinegar, if using 1 chicken about 1/2 cup, if using 2 well duh double it
dry white wine, if using 1 chicken about 4 ounces, blah blah, ok you get it
one BIG pinch of kosher salt
a big pot with steep sides and a heavy lid
if you have a spatter screen, I'd get it out
a set of tongs
a wooden spoon


ok here's the thing.
 I could never understand why hunters would spend all friggin' day standing over a pot with a chicken in it, aren't they supposed to be HUNTING? I figure the version of this dish that calls for a quick and messy fry in oil makes more sense. This calls for a bit of work but it's worth it. Trust me.

OK divide the bird into it's 4 basic parts. Cut these in half again. Cut THOSE into even smaller parts, try for about 10 to 12 pieces. Leave skin and bones intact as much as you can. Chop off the ends of the drumsticks and the tips of the wings. Save for stock.

trust me, use a sharp knife

 Dry all your chicken chunks with paper towels. Wash your hands. 

 Get the pot HOT. High heat please, yes. 

  Add about 1/2 inch of oil. Add 1-2 clove of garlic.

 Add 2-3 chunks of chicken. Skin down first. 

I know you're scared. Here's the problem. Extra virgin olive oil SMELLS like love but it contains a grip of water so it's gonna splatter. Ladies, please use your splatter screen to cover the top. Guys please wear shirts. 

 This takes some timing, remove the garlic clove before it burns but keep that chicken on heat until it turns a dark golden brown, on ALL sides. Alternate your heat from high to medium high, do not let it reach the smoking point. If it does, take off heat for a coupla seconds. I KNOW this is advanced stuff and if you need me to, I will come to your house and show you. 

 Add the chicken, a few pieces at a time, alternating cloves of garlic, as everything browns remove it to a plate nearby. 

save those garlic cloves on the same plate as the chicken

and if you are doing 2 birds you'll need to dump out and change your oil half-way through. 

 You'll end up with a plate of this...

Once all the chicken pieces are done. Dump out the remaining oil. Don't worry, you won't have to add any for the next step. There's enough left in the pan. NOW add your sliced mushrooms. These will brown quickly

 once they do, remove them to a separate plate. 

 It's magic time. Still over high heat. Add the vinegar to the pot and scape up all that love on the bottom, once it STOPS smelling really sharp (your nose will wrinkle) dump in all your chicken and mushrooms. Add your fresh rosemary and big pinch of salt. Toss that around. Decrease heat to medium and add the wine. Let boil for a few seconds.  Put the lid on and turn the whole mess upside-down and shake. Distribute all that goodness.

 Serve with some cooked pasta, tomato sauce, some good bread and a fresh salad to keep up the fiber. Need a recipe for Tomato sauce? Check out the March 20th 2010 post, omit sausage.

 Cooking poor, eating rich. Get your grub on, Ciao.

THIS IS HOW WE EAT

The next generation

My Niece Brynn

Chef Nick with nephew Hayden

How the heck did we ef up POPCORN???

Cooking poor, eating rich.

 This is what I'm all about. Take it back.

Have you looked at a bag of micro-wave popcorn lately?

  The most basic sack I saw has more crap in it than; say, crap.
 Popcorn has 3 basic ingredients, popcorn, butter, salt.

 Folks, seriously.

 How did we screw this up???

My Dad made this with nothing more than a pot, some corn and melted butter. If we were good, he added cheese. I have many memories of us going to drive-in movies with a sack of popcorn, and us in our jammies. Mom, Dad, I love you.




Get out there, buy a jar of popcorn. All you need is some oil, salt and butter. OK if you're me, some cinnamon-sugar and Tabasco. List of cool things to add listed below.

you will need

 1/3 cup of popcorn. I used the one with Orville's name on it, Use what you have, no worries.

a coupla TB of veg oil.
some salt
1-2 TB butter

one deep pot with lid

List of things to add after the butter, yes butter.
NOT to say you should use ALL of these together, use with wisdom.
cinnamon sugar
cayenne pepper
garlic salt
shredded parmesan cheese
dried oregano
Tabasco sauce
minced chives
shredded sharp cheddar

my two favorites are cinnamon sugar and tabasco. I like the sweet-spicy thing.

OK got this?
NOW into the pot put your oil, a pinch of salt (add it now, shake it later) and a few kernels.

like this

ON HIGH HEAT lid off for now and wait for it....takes 'bout a minute. Once you get some popping action

BOOM BOOM POW

 add the rest of the kernels in a single layer and take the pot off heat. Let the pot rest off heat for about a minute. This lets the kernels all heat up to the same temperature.

OK put the lid on and put the pot back on heat. Grab some kitchen towels. 

You will start hearing the kernels pop after like 20 seconds. Keep that lid on and shake your pot every couple of seconds. 

Once you no longer hear the POP, remove from heat and shake the pot a few more times just to be sure. Now turn pot upside-down (hold the lid on folks) and shake one last time. We are using the carry-over heat from the pot to pop those last few kernels. Dump out into a large bowl. using your now empty but still hot pot, plop in your butter (yes again, butter). 

Once melted, pour over popcorn. Add whatever you want. Again, nothing I like more than sweet and spicy so I'm doin' mine with cinnamon sugar and tabasco. toss around and eat. 

The ol' man would be proud

Cooking poor but eating rich.

 Go get your grub on. Ciao. 

If you are really reading this, ask me what the first movie I ever saw, with my folks at a drive-in was. Dad had a big brown bag of popcorn, love the ol' man. 

The death of Cyrano, the mutant tomato.

Cyrano, on the vine.

Cyrano, on the slab

sur la table

add bacon, mayo, lettuce and bread

I grow my own, how 'bout you?

cooking poor, eating rich. Get your grub on. Ciao

I get by with a little help from my friends. Fajitas with Guacamole.

This one's for you Lisa, James and 'Tasha. 

 I know some terrific people.
In the picture to the left everything you see except the skirt steak and ground cumin was grown by myself, friends and neighbors. I scored some avocado, peppers of all sorts, onions, garlic and limes. Put that together with some sliced steak and you get that tex-mex favorite, fajitas. Right on guys.

 Easy to assemble. Trust me.







 First we'll gather together and start the marinade for the steak. Then we'll get the guac' going.
Here's a list of what you'll need.

Mise en place:
Fajitas
2 lbs of skirt steak or chuck steak
Red bell pepper thin slices
Green bell pepper ditto
Yellow or white onions ditto ditto
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1-2 jalapeno, minced (if desired)
Zest of one lime
Juice of the same
Splash of oil
S&P (this means salt and black pepper, fresh ground)
1 tsp ground Cumin
1 TB dried Oregeno

Take your peppers and onions, lime zest, juice and garlic and put it in one bowl.
Hey I got a great tip for slicing onions. Ya wanna know? Yes you do.
Slice off the top and then cut right through the root end leaving the skins for now. Got it?

Now just peel back the skin, leaving the root end intact. This creates a good grip for you to make long thin slices and that's what we're going for here. PLUS the remainder is a neat little package for the stock pot. Thank you Chef Barkley, ya big Cajun jerk for showing me this trick. 

See? just pop it right in the stock pot, no mess. 

You got everything in the bowl right? Lime juice, lime zest, oil, onions, garlic, oregano, cumin, peppers all sorts? Good, let's move on to the steak.

 I used a skirt steak, sliced long and thin (thank you Kevin, god of butchers) but you can also use chuck if you got it. Now all you have to do is slice into sticks. Looks like this.

knife skills, word

If you need to, remove any fat that feels like hard wax, leave the rest.

Add your sliced steak to the bowl and toss, don't forget to add salt and fresh ground pepper. 

This really needs to marinate overnight or at least 6 hours. If you can, toss it around a few more times.

Cover and 'fridge

By my command of time and space we will skip ahead to tomorrow in 3-2-1-.....

So NOW we're ready for the quacamole. Here's what we'll need. 

Guacamole
2 ripe avocado
1 minced small onion
Juice of one lime
1 clove garlic, pureed
pinch of ground cumin
pinch chili powder
dash of Worcestershire sauce
S&P
some chopped tomato* see note below

Avocados are funny. If you are really reading this, ask me what "avocado" means in Aztek.

Slice your Avocado in half long ways, remove pith and with a sharp spoon, remove flesh into a medium bowl. Add all other ing's.

 *except tomato, add that later.

 Smoosh around with fork. Smoosh is a funny word. Don't make this smooth, leave some chunks. Adds character. Scrape into a small bowl, stir your tomato chunks in gently and cover with plastic wrap.      The problem is that since avocado(snicker) is oxygen sensitive it will start to brown right away. Place the plastic right onto the surface. Like this.

keep that air out

Back to the main feature.

Now that your steak has marinated you are ready to go. Heat up a grill pan (I got one for Christmas, what'd YOU git) or a large saute pan. HOT HOT HOT. 

With some tongs grab a hunk of everything and start cooking. 

As a friend of mine just pointed out, fajitas always smell better when cooking. Yeah I agree. All that lime juice, cumin and oregano does tend to make it's presence known. Toss this around until you get some good brown. Remove to a plate.

 Serve with a grip of warm tortillas, a heap of your good quacamole.

 I made some re-fried beans (need a recipe? see me) Eat up. Thanks again James, Lisa and 'Tasha. I am truly blessed. 

Go get your grub on. Ciao.

Damn Yankee Pot Roast.

One of my favorite pass-times is scouring used bookstores for old cookbooks.

 This last time I found a copy of "Ye Olde New England Home" from 1952.

 Nifty right?

Oh my yes.

Here's why.

As the U.S. was slowly colonized from the old world our ancestors had to adapt their traditional dishes to include the new foodstuffs from our continent. Potato, Tomato, Squash, etc. 

One of our most beloved dishes, namely today's subject is a direct descendent of the English boiled dinner. 

The earliest recipes called for flour and herbs as a tenderizer followed by a long slow braise in stock or beer. I think we can do better than that.

After some research and some experiements I got this. Still traditional but more my style. 

 Got it? Let's go

No big deal

CHEF NICK'S DAMN YANKEE POT ROAST

pre-heat oven to 350

mise en place

S&P. frsh ground please

One good sized chuck roast

Splash of oil. 

Mirepoix. Onion, carrot, celery. chopped. 

a tug of parsley, cilantro, thyme, rosemary, any fresh herbs you have in your backyard

one grip of mushrooms, chopped

some potatoes, skins on, scliced large.

one other root vegetable, rutabaga, parsnip. chopped

one large can of tomato puree or sauce or whatever

2 cups of beef stock

 dash of Worcestershire Sauce. (from here on out I will call this WS, it's too hard to spell)

1 squirt ketchup (I know, ok)

Season your roast with some salt and pepper

First off, heat up your pot. Not warm. HOT. Add a splash of oil.

now that's a sear

Place your roast right in there. Let it go until it doesn't tug on your fork. If it sticks, it ain't done. Let it go until it releases. turn it over and do it again. Sear. 

Once seared.Remove from the pot and place aside, like on a plate or something.

 Go ahead and add all your veg's. Toss in some salt and pepper. Toss around for a minute or so. Add all your herbs that you managed to scrounge up. 

Toss around for a bit and add your ketchup. OK look, I tried this with tomato paste, fresh, sauce blah blah. Ketchup worked best. 

Toss around for a bit more, it will start smelling sweet. Splash in some WS. 

Throw in the roast. Can of tomato whatever and the beef stock. Bring to a boil, let simmer. 

cover and stick it in the 350 degree oven for about an hour. AAAANNNNDD we're waiting. 

Did I mentiom those potatoes? Nope, stick them in the pot NOW and toss around. Let this mess go for another 30 minutes or so. Check 'em by stickin' a fork in 'em. If they slide off, they're done. 

You cannot harm this dish by letting it go too long. Just let it rest for 20 minutes or so. Slice it, serve it. Done

Go get your grub on, Ciao

Don't eat the hotdogs from that place that adds up to 18. Make these instead.

I have a charcoal grill. Nope not gas, charcoal. Yes it takes just forever to heat up and I understand lots of folks think they don't have TIME. Bull, everyone just slow down. Our Dads made an art of lighting charcoal grills at just the right time to get everything cooked. When they didn't, it just gave us more time to hang out in the back yard with friends and family. My grill's name is Ken. Ken the Weber. Only my RAMS are going to get that joke. Sigh

CHEF NICK'S FABULOUS GRILLED BEER GLAZED BRATS WITH ONIONS AND PEPPERS.

bitches

1 large onion, julienne 

1 large red bell pepper julienne 

buncha good brats

one dark beer

good mustard. French, American, English (my favorite is pictured below)

some olive oil. 

S&P

Fire up the grill. 

All we really need to do is put some grill marks on these bad boys. I got KEN really hot, took about 30 minutes. 

 During that time start with a very hot large pan. We are caramelizing our onions and peppers. We start hot and then decrease to medium. To do this properly takes a while. Even brown but not too brown. Adding a big pinch of salt helps render out the natural sugars. Again, be patient and don't walk away. If it burns you have to start over. Once you are happy with the results. Remove from pan but DON'T WASH IT. You have all that golden brown yumminess to play with on the bottom of the pan and that's really going to help us in a little bit. 

 Back to the brats. Carefully place them on the grill and once marked on one side, turn them over and do the other. 

Remove from heat. Take them back to the kitchen. Heat up your pan once more and add your beer to de-glaze. 

Ok, now it's magic time. Add one blob of dark mustard to the pan and your brats. Bring to a ferocious boil and then immediately take off heat.  Easy right? 

 I did mine with a little potato au gratin but heck any side works with these. So, the lesson is, let the poor bastards eat the all the crappy hot dogs out there. These are MINE.

That's it for now. Go get your grub on. Ciao